Hong Kong online daters: Funniest stories
Aug 06, 2018
Dating, we all know it, can be extremely messy, but the universe of online dating is even weirder and – at times – more complicated.
While it’s more and more common to hear success stories of couples meeting online, building a long-lasting relationship and even getting married, if you use dating apps, it’s almost certain that you will have some hilarious— not to mention creepy—stories to tell.
We asked Hong Kong online daters to talk about their funniest and more interesting experiences. Here are some of our favourite stories:
“I matched with this guy on Tinder and we were having completely chilled conversations about our days, nothing sexual at all. When I asked ‘What are you up to,’ he said ‘I’m thinking of watching some porn.’ I said nothing but ‘Okay…’ and then he asked ‘Do you think I should watch some porn?,’ I replied ‘Well, up to you’. He then said, ‘Are you naughty ,girl? I said no and he went on asking ‘Are you sure? You seem like a naughty girl’…. After I reaffirmed the fact that I WASN’T, he blocked me.”
Student, 22
“One night, I reluctantly decided to install Tinder (because, you know, we’re in the 21st century). I texted my first match and I said ‘Heyyyy waaassuuuuup gyal!! Whats poppin????’. She never replied. That’s my ice breaker when I meet someone in a bar and it ALWAYS works, because I’m actually funny. I’m pretty sure If I had sent a voice message she would have replied, but she didn’t. I was furious, I deleted the app and never used it again.”
Financial coder, 29
“One late drunk night I was going through Grindr and ended up meeting with this guy. It went well and I agreed to see him another time. We did, and that time I let him stay over, and the next morning we grabbed coffee and both went to work. That Saturday night he ends up finding me in LKF, alone, and asks if he could tag along. I was with my usual squad at the time, and as we were going to a club, the bouncer whispers to me that ‘the guy’ was not appropriately dressed as he was wearing shorts. To avoid singling him out, I ended up leaving my friends and telling them I wanted to go with him elsewhere. As we’re walking down towards a 7/11, we bump into his friends and he says to them ‘We’re going to PLAY, oh and this is my boyfriend!’ I think I instinctually laughed out of displeasure and proceeded to tell him I was going to the bathroom, when I was really making my way back to my friends. This was one of my earlier Grindr escapades, so now I know to never hit it twice, unless I actually like.”
Engineer, 20
“I was talking to this guy and he seemed very very nice. At some point he asked me to go out for dinner in Central and we planned to meet up the following weekend. The same night he messaged me again asking me to go over to his place. When I said no, he said ‘ I want to cover you in Nutella,’ I replied ‘No, sorry, that sounds very sticky and difficult to clean.’ He kept insisting saying that it was very “nice” and “funny”. A few days later, when he asked me if we were still down for dinner I didn’t respond. My all point is: why Nutella and not chocolate, it’s much cheaper and easier to clean! It might sound sexy, but I’m sure it’s not!”
Intern, 23
“Last summer I was talking to this guy online and we decided to meet up. In a couple of hours, we had gone from saying hi on the app to saying hi in person and the rest followed in usual form, as you can imagine. He was cute, but a little awkward, and was definitely pushing 30 when he said he was in his early twenties. When he was getting dressed and called his Uber to leave, he told me he’d like to see me again, but after swerving my way out of the topic, I ended up diverting it to his own life. He then told me he was a music producer, and proceeded to show me his wife and two kids. It wasn’t until this day that I fully understood the concept of daddy issues.”
Dancer, 20
“I matched with this girl that looked super cute in her pictures. We started talking but when she gave me her Whatsapp contact I saw that the picture did not match her Tinder pictures. In fact the person in the picture was a man. When I asked for clarification, he confirmed that he was a guy using a random picture of a girl on Tinder. Since then, I never swipe right when there is only one picture.”
Banker, 27
“I once got a message from a random guy on Grindr. His profile photo had no face, but judging by the rest of his body I chose not to respond. The same day, I called an Uber to the airport, and when it came I loaded myself in it and we started driving off. I had my headphones in, but I couldn’t help but notice the driver staring into his back-view mirror every now and then. I had a little de ja vu moment but I couldn’t figure out why, so I started backtracking in my mind and ended up going back on Grindr, to see that the arm of the guy who messaged me looked exactly like my Uber driver’s. I was mortified. We had another 20 or 30 minutes left in the car. When we got to the airport and he came out the car to help me with my luggage, I ran off. After a while, I got a message from the guy on Grindr aka the Uber driver saying ‘have a safe flight, hopefully I will see you sometime soon.’ FML!”
Financial controller, 32
“I was having a conversation with a girl on Tinder, we started with the usual stuff and then her third question was ‘what’s your salary?’. I blocked her. #golddigger #goldtinder.”
Strategist, 25
“I met this guy on Bumble and he seemed interesting – spoke different languages, travelled a lot and exciting adventures to tell. Everything was okay until we met in person for the first time. Nothing bad happened during the date but he was so eager to be in a relationship with me (without knowing me!!) from the very beginning that I got very uncomfortable. I never saw him again but he kept texting and asking why we ‘wouldn’t give it a try’ (??) and things like ‘Can you give me feedback on myself?’ ‘Why don’t you wanna be with me?’. I never replied. He’s still texting.”
Videographer, 24
“My ex lived over an hour away from me, which is pretty far away by Hong Kong standards. Each time I stayed over at his, it became such a chore to go home to get changed before starting my day. After we broke up for a year, I decided I was ready to put myself out on the market again and I used Grindr to find my next partner. For those who don’t know, Grindr displays potential guys around you and organises them by their distance from you. I hit it off with one of the guys from the first page of the results. He’s my current boyfriend and he lives 5 minutes away from me. Going home to get changed has never been easier.”
Doctor, 28
“I went to lunch with a friend of mine at Little Bao. We were sat across two guys that we thought were very cute. The thing was we didn’t want to look like we were staring because they were beginning to notice. I kept thinking about one of them the whole day, thinking I would never see him again. Later that night, I received a message from him on Tinder saying ‘You’re the guy at Little Bao’. Unfortunately, he was only visiting and was already back in Oslo when he messaged me. I know I’ll see him again one day and we’ll get married!”
Journalist, 26
I matched with this guy on Tinder but we didn’t talk. One night in Wan Chai we bumped into each other and I thought ‘It’s quite nice to meet your matches in the street, nice tinder experience.’ Then he came to talk to me and my friends, showing them my profile and saying that at first, he didn’t want to talk to me because he thought that I was boring as I study politics and philosophy. I fled. Later he sent me a text saying ‘Congratulations, you have matched with the prettiest boy on Tinder so there’s no more swiping needed in that department.’”
Student, 21
