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Drawing Up a Bucket List of Exotic Places for Sex

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Jul 25, 2016

Illustration by Pirate

There was a forgettable film in the 1990s that had female colleagues at work discussing the most exotic places they’d had sex in. The venues were fairly predictable, until one sassy lady owned up, matter-of-factly: “In the butt.” While backdoor action may not be for everyone – and some people wouldn’t use the word “exotic” to describe it – part of the thrill of sex has always been doing it in the most unusual places.

The best time for adventurous sex tends to be while on holiday, when you are relaxed and disconnected, however briefly, from the pressure of work. It could even start on the flight out, in mid-air, although sex on a plane can be rather difficult to manage discreetly – or comfortably. The cramped and uninspiring interiors of the lavatories on an Airbus 340 or Boeing 777 may not be the sexiest of places, but getting in there with your partner and doing it without getting caught by the flight attendants or other passengers can make for an exciting encounter, with the occasional dip and shake due to turbulence adding another erotic charge.

Back on terra firma, sex on the beach, preferably a deserted beach, becomes an enticing prospect. The scene is perfect: tanned bodies intertwined, the swish of the waves, the warmth of the sun, the kiss of the sea breeze…until the sand, annoyingly, gets in the way, lodging itself in every crevice, adding unwanted abrasion. You’re probably better off making love in the water. Just make sure there are no jellyfish or sharks around. If you’re looking for a really different kind of adventure at sea, get on a jet ski with your partner and ride the waves – including the sexual rollers. Life jackets are optional.

You can have sex almost anywhere you choose to, and the choice of place and circumstances becomes a matter of creativity and daring. The possibilities, as the cliché goes, are endless. Thinking up different places to do it – drawing up a sort of sexual bucket list – you can let a Dr Seuss-like optimism run wild: You can do it on a plane. You can do it on a train. You can do it in a tree. You can do it by the sea. Even by the waterfall, you can do it anywhere at all.

You can do it anywhere where it’s legal, of course. Places of worship are off-limits, as are public monuments – although there are some adamant thrill-seekers that regard the law or respect for custom as no impediment to their adventurous trysts. The sanctity of places such as Angkor Wat in Cambodia, Machu Picchu in Peru, the Taj Mahal in India, the Colosseum in Rome, Notre Dame in Paris or the Hagia Sophia in Istanbul, for instance, should be preserved, not violated by randy lovers looking to chalk up more points on their scoreboards of sexual adventures.

Some of the best places to have sex in are the special secret spots lovers chance on during their travels – spots, it would seem, that only they and no one else know about. It could be a place so still, so quiet, so hidden that no-one else could possibly have access: on a rooftop terrace lit by moonlight in the middle of Manhattan or Paris, perhaps; by a waterfall chanced upon unexpectedly while hiking in the Swiss Alps; or high in the clouds on a private jet. It’s not just the place that creates the magic. It’s the light, the weather, the mood, and (let’s not forget) the degree of comfort, balanced with the potential orgasm. And, of course, the most important element of all is the intensity of the desire between the trysting parties.

There is an argument that sex can be supremely exotic right in that most mundane of places: the bed. There, it’s who you’re having sex with that makes it an adventure: a brand new lover, say; or somebody else’s lover; or somebody else’s wife or husband; or a lover that’s way too young but way too hot. Whatever. You choose your own adventure.

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